My Thai Family
I first published this almost two Years ago. I am still with Intuon, we do not live together which is probably the reason I am still with Intuon!! Thai Families and Thai Culture along with all Thais overweening love off Money doom most Thai /Western Relationships very quickly as you can discover in some of my other scribbles!! However as I reimburse Intuon on a Pay Per Play Basis it seems to work for both of us!!
While the above may sound Tacky to some I would far rather be in my situation than be one of the Thousands of Western Men who Married their Thai Sweetheart, bought a House and a Truck and Shelled out for a Posse of Lazy Thai relatives!!
I meet and hear about Guys who went the above route all too regularly. The end result is always the same when the Thais have squeezed as much as they can out of the poor Schmuck he is evicted from the House He Paid for and there is not a thing he can do!!
Women anywhere can be hard to understand, their methods and motivation being an ongoing mystery to most Men Thai Women have turned this unpredictability into an Art Form. Just when you think you have cracked the Code they come up with something so outrageously Bizarre that One feels the need to go and lie down in a darkened room. My Thai Family consists of a Beautiful, although Batty Woman, and her two Spoiled, Surly Sons, One of whom has a penchant for dressing up in Women’s Clothing
My Girl-Friend is possessed of the strangest logic I have ever encountered, I seriously believe that She in common with the Majority of Thai Women has had a large portion of her Brain’s frontal Lobe reprogrammed by Aliens!! Nothing else could possibly explain the sheer Nuttiness of some of her actions!! Please do not misunderstand me I love her Dearly, the fact that I never quite know where she is coming from and what weird occurrence will come next precludes any danger of boredom or complacency.
My Girlfriend is constantly being caught by the Police who lurk at busy intersections nabbing Helmetless Riders and checking licenses. The reason for these frequent brushes with the Law being that Titan (Strange name for a Lady-Boy I Know. A Friend Opined that it should be changed to Tinker bell!!) Her 16 Year Old Lady-Boy Son refuses to wear a Helmet as this would mess up his Hair!! Should the Motor-Cyclist not have the 200 Baht fine demanded the police confiscate their driving License which will be returned upon payment of the fine!! My Girlfriend had in fact managed to get her fine up to 400 Baht.
Now Thai’s have a tendency to forget about anything which is not pleasurable or that does not involve eating, Such as going to the Police Station, in fairness I should point out that Thai’s Loathe, Despise and Fear their Police in Equal Measure!! My Girlfriend being no different from every other Thai in this respect will have been rather afraid to have any dealings whatsoever with the Police, hence the necessity of actually visiting the Police Station will have been relegated to a dark and cobweb infested corner of her Brain!!
For Five Months now I have been the recipient of frantic Telephone calls from my Batty Lady begging a lift when she has to go into the Busy part of Town to pay a bill or whatever, She is frightened to ride her Scooter in case the Police stop Her and she has no license to show them!! For Five Months I have been telling Her to get Her Ass up to the Police Station, give them the Money and collect her License, and for Five Months She has been doing what Thai’s do best, Absolutely Nothing!!
Last Tuesday February 26th my demented Woman in a state of some agitation asked me if I could give her the Rent for Her House a couple of Days early ( I should point out that I rent my House from Intuon) While She at this time was still Living in and attempting to run her Hairdressing Business from the Shop which Her Sister had bought and which Intuon got Rent Free!
Intuon wanted me to take Her to the Offices of the Water Company to pay a Bill which was becoming overdue. Readers of a previous Post regarding My Thai Family may recall that it was only a couple of Months ago that my Girlfriend had a Huge Water Bill and asked me to take her to the Water Company Offices.
The reason for Her Water Bill being so high on this previous occasion,Titan had been taking Showers which lasted Two Hours!!! I of course agreed to this latest request for transport with the proviso that when we finished at the Water Company we would drive straight to the Cop Shop and get her license back. Having Her over a Barrel so to speak I did not get an argument.
At the Police Station I stayed well out-of-the-way sending her in with instructions to SMILE. Five minutes later she emerged with her License she had obviously Charmed the Cop as he reduced her fine to 200 Baht!! She was delighted however I do not for one minute believe that any kind of lesson has been learned and the next time something like this happens she will deal with in exactly the same way, or rather she will NOT deal with it in exactly the same way!!! l would hate for the reader to think that these scribbles of mine are in any way intended to denigrate or Belittle this unique Lady ,She is undoubtedly a complete eccentric, but her eccentricity is utterly Charming and her Logic while deeply Flawed never ceases to make me Smile!!
Having now taken my Girlfriend to the Police Station twice to recover Her Driving License I have to admit to being a trifle peeved when I discovered that for the third time in four or five Months the License is back in Police Custody!! Once again the cause was Titans reluctance to cover his Hair!! One indicator of mental impairment is apparently when people keep doing things which have ended badly hoping for a different result!!