Authentic Thai Food

 Authentic Thai Food

 

I found this Video on YouTube. It features many of the Foods which Issan Thai’s love to eat,and indeed have eaten for Generations. At the risk of stating the blindingly obvious seeing this Authentic Thai Food reinforces for me the total disconnect between Issan and Western Culture and possibly helps explain how very difficult it is for any Westerner to truly feel as if they belong here, or indeed be accepted by Thai’s as anything other than a provider of Cash!!

The reason I keep Banging on about Issan Women and Issan Family’s is because of the sheer volume of western Men who come here one estimate puts the number of Cross Cultural relationships at between 60 and 70 Thousand Couples. Hopefully if you are among the Thousands of Westerners in  Issan looking for your Ideal Thai Woman things will work out for you. I have to tell you that should your quest for a Lovely Thai Lady founder you will be joining a vast Brotherhood of Naive Western Men who have been comprehensively duped by a Beguiling Thai Lady and her Crafty Family!!

I took my Girlfriend for a nice meal on Friday Afternoon , she wanted me to stop by one of her Brothers Shops where there was a prime cut of SNAKE waiting for her!! I am afraid I overreacted somewhat ” I am not having a Bloody Snake in my car, even if it is Dead!!” I seem to remember saying!! My Girlfriend does not get offended She just laughs at me, I am very fortunate to have a Girlfriend who has such a sweet nature!!

I should explain that up until a Month ago I was quite unaware of the just how bizarre my Woman’s taste in food actually was, the event which triggered my being let in on the secret as it were was the occasion of Her Mother being hit on the head by a falling Coconut!! My Ladies Mother lives in a large dilapidated old House, which looks as if one forceful sneeze would cause it to collapse like a pile of musty old playing cards! Rather like Alice in Wonderland when One opens a tiny door in the back Courtyard wall One enters a veritable Jungle of towering Tropical trees.The Mother had been wandering around with a long pole knocking down whichever lush Fruit she wished to eat that Night.

It was while harvesting her fruit that a large green Coconut which must have weighed 3/4 Kilos fell from a great Height and hit her on the Head. After being shown the Coconut and seeing the blood on the path I was of the opinion that my Girlfriends Mum would not be coming out of Hospital. In fact she was back home the same Day ,the Coconut miraculously had only struck Her a glancing blow on the side of the head!!

In celebration at the deliverance of their beloved Mother next Day lots of Family members descended on the house for a feast. I had taken my Girlfriend round on my Motorcycle and was chatting to some of the Clan when Her elder Brother opened a carrier bag and showed me the skinned Rats which would go in the soup!!

Now my Girlfriends Brother knew I was not staying for the meal, I am pretty sure that the reason he showed me the Rats was because of the fact that I have been with his Sister now for three years, and he wanted me to understand that this is how Issan Families live their lives!! This is what they like to eat and this is who they are!! Of course since this time my Lady has told me of all the things that her Family and indeed most Issan Families love to eat.

You can just imagine the conversations between two Thai MehBaans (housewife’s). “So what are you giving them for Sunday Lunch? ” “Well You can’t go wrong with a lovely soup especially with a couple of RATS for the flavour , and do you know I cannot decide between Tom Yam Snake or a lovely cut of DOG!! “

I was teasing my Girlfriend in her Shop she was doing the hair of an old school Friend . I was telling them if She came to England they would lock her up for eating dogs!! Everyone laughed, but later my Girlfriend told me off, basically saying not to make fun of this in front of any Thai, although they will be embarrassed and deny they eat any of the above EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM DOES!!

Authentic Thai Food

Another Pretty Bar-Girl

This is not a matter of economic hardship, this stuff is expensive and there is a special Market here in Town which does a Roaring Trade selling, Skinned Rats in Polystyrene trays wrapped in Clingfilm 60 Baht, whichever Snake it is that makes the best eating (Snake is expensive my Lady tells me!!) it is the Wattta-na-tam Thai (Thai Culture!!) and Thai’s enjoy nothing more than sitting around on the floor with the Family eating all of the creatures I have so far mentioned!!

There are Restaurants here in Town which serve Dog although my Woman tells me Dog Meat is not on sale in the Market, as the killing and eating of Dog is prohibited, the Thai “Dog Lover” I of course am referring to Dog Meat Lover can get his favourite cut of Dog In Vientiane (The Lao Capital, which is only an hour away) , and I am sure that Dogs are killed and Butchered all over Rural Issan!! Issan food is not considered by many Westerners to be what they expect Authentic Thai Food to be, and most of it is pretty unappetizing to a Western Pallet, while the Wildlife cataloged above is downright nausea inducing!!

And of course in Vietnam,which is just down the road Dog restaurants are the norm and Dog meat is far more popular than Pork!!! This of course is yet more Asian Barmieness as they are all Buddhists and believe in reincarnation and one of the thing they believe it to be most likely you will come back as is, you guessed it A DOG!! So you could in fact be sitting around eating Great Aunty Nellie!!!

My next Door Neighbour owns a beautiful Golden Labrador/ Retriever,this poor creature is never taken for a walk..The Dog senses that I like it and jumps up on her side of the Wall for a little affection when she sees me.My Girlfriend dislikes the Dog and makes nasty sounds and gestures when She sees it, the Dog just looks at Her in a quizzical manner. I tell my Girlfriend that if the Dog came served on a platter with rice and vegetables she would be much more kindly disposed toward it!!

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